Elise Matthesen

I think, too, that there is a huge difference between "there are a few people already in fandom but it is fairly small and I can contribute significantly to its cultural mores and experiences" and "this is a huge, established thing, take it or leave it" in terms of how much beauty, wonder, and acceptance your average new person feels coming in.

"We are all building this thing together, wow, isn't that great!" is a different experience than "this thing is substantially built and you will have to like it or lump it but OUR WAY is HOW IT IS"--and that affects how much someone actually experiences "this is a thing where connections with people are the crucial bit." I absolutely believe that some of the people in the same age cohort (or fandom-joining cohort, which is not the same thing) as the yelliest people believe in connections and wonder as the fundamental thing...but it's very hard to see that reflected in any way in the actual behavior of the yelliest.