Somebody please tell me this is NOT the first Cardinal Newman filksong, OK?

[elisem]

When John Henry Newman was an Anglican
He went down to the Holy See
Said I wanna see the Pope 'cause I got a crazy hope
That they're gonna make a Catholic out of me, Lord, Lord,
They're gonna make a Catholic out of me.

When John Henry Newman was a young man
He wrote about a Kindly Light
He called it "Pillar of Cloud," and if you sing it real loud
It'll lead you through the gloomy night, Lord, Lord,
It'll lead you through the gloomy night.

John Henry Newman was at Oxford
He was a deacon and a curate too
He got to be a vicar but decided it was quicker
To scribble down a tract or two, Lord, Lord
To scribble down a tract or two.

John Henry Newman up at Oxford
At St. Mary's chapel on the side
He told them in a lecture that it was his conjecture
The middle way was fine and wide, Lord, Lord
The middle way was fine and wide.

John Henry Newman got in trouble
Reading monophysite lore
"This bit about "securus" -- it doesn't reassure us
I think I better think a little more, Lord, Lord,
I think I better think at Littlemore. "

John Henry Newman had a buddy
Father Ambrose, he liked Rome
They liked St. Philip Neri, so in the vale of Mary
They built themselves a home sweet home, Lord, Lord,
They built themselves a home sweet home.

John Henry Newman got converted
And it made him feel alive
But he lost a few subscribers the day he swam the Tiber
On 9 October '45, Lord, Lord,
On 9 October '45.

John Henry Newman bought a ticket
John Henry Newman went to Rome
But though he got ordained, he did not remain
He packed his bags and headed home, Lord, Lord,
He packed his bags and headed home.

John Henry Newman went to Oscott
To have a little toast and jam
And in a blaze of glory to build an Oratory
They later moved to Birmingham, Lord, Lord,
They later moved to Birmingham.

John Henry Newman took exception
To what he heard Kingsley say
Newman said "I showed ya ; I wrote an Apologia
And it's Pro Vita Sua all the way, Lord, Lord,
It's Pro Vita Sua all the way."

John Henry Newman got promoted
And they gave him a big red hat
They put it on his head, and everybody said,
"Mercy, will you look at that, Lord, Lord,
Mercy, will you look at that."

When John Henry Newman was an old man
He was a little on the quiet side.
He got a telegram from heaven on August eleven
And laid down his missal and he died, Lord, Lord,
He laid down his missal and he died.

John Henry Newman in his coffin
On compost did recline
He said "I have chosen, by completely decomposing,
To leave not a relic here to find, Lord, Lord,
I will leave not a relic here to find."



(I added the last verse after someone requested such a thing. If you have aspects of Newman's life that you want to request a verse about, go for it. No guarantees, but I might just have one jump out, if you call for it.) Also, in October of 2018 I fixed the meter in a few places, so a few lines have changed a little. Nothing substantive, though.

Comments

[redaxe.livejournal.com]

(Seen via friendsfriends page)

*applause*

I laughed, I cried, I kissed three ticks goodbye (while I sang it, of course).

Thank you. This is wonderful.

I don't know any other Cardinal Newman filk, but wouldn't bet against it existing, either.

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

...I don't think I can tell you that. *g*

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Best filk ever.

[cjsherwood.livejournal.com]

Wow. Mind-blowingly good.

And ... uh.... I haven't seen any other JHN filk....

[hagazusa.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[txanne.livejournal.com]

First and best.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, it's my favorite, anyway.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

Oh, wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Historically accurate, even.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I worked hard on that aspect.

[montrealais.livejournal.com]

LOVE. metaquotes?

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Sure!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

I love your goofy inspiration. Must hear you sing this.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Easily done.

[tnh.livejournal.com]

John Henry Newman was beatified this very weekend.

[madrobins]

That was a religious experience. Wonderfully done!

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

Oh, very nice job. I particularly like the use of "monophysite." When I was young, my favorite heretics were the monophysite akepholoi, though it was mostly because of the headless aspect.

Now I want more: I want a verse about the compost in the coffin.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Well, I wasn't going to add any, but this one jumped on me:

John Henry Newman in his coffin
On compost did recline
He said "I have chosen, by completely decomposing,
To leave no relics here to find, Lord, Lord,
I will leave no relics here to find."

I'll add it to the post.

Anybody else got requests? ;-)

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

You are on a roll of extreme giggle-inducement. Thank you very much. My day is seriously made now.

[coffeeem.livejournal.com]

The Artotyrites are still my favorite heretics. IT'S THE CHEESE!

[elisem.livejournal.com]

OK, my mind is blown now.

[sheistheweather]

You win, Elise. :D

[doclnghair.livejournal.com]

I DO love how your brain works!

[deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com]

As an Oxford student, I am inordinately amused by this.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

W00t! High praise, and thank you!

[bridgetj2.livejournal.com]

I *could* tell you it's not the first, if you like.

Don't hold me to it, though. ;)

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

oh please oh please tell me the chords to this song so that I may play it on the roadside all the time. :-D :-D

[elisem.livejournal.com]

The ballad of John Henry, the steel-drivin' man, is a classic American folksong. It can be heard in several versions here:

Woody Guthrie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD-GHye9ohA)

Johnny Cash (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxReOxRwS-g)

John Jackson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiw2Uc-0qN0)

I'd say the version I sing is closer to John Jackson than any of the others. There are lots of variants, though, especially when you get into great blues guitar pickers.

There are various lyrics, too, ranging from those that Woody Guthrie (sometimes) used (http://www.metrolyrics.com/john-henry-lyrics-woody-guthrie.html), the slight variant that Pete Seeger sang (http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/pete-seeger-lyrics/john-henry-lyrics.html), to the ones Bruce Springsteen uses. (http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bruce_springsteen/john_henry.html) (I'm partial to the versions where Polly Anne drives steel like a man, Lord, Lord.)

I cannot vouch for the accuracy of any of the tabs, but there are some here (http://www.guitaretab.com/m/misc-traditional/199449.html) and here (different ones) (http://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/w/woody_guthrie/the_ballad_of_john_henry_crd.html) and a rather simple version here (http://www.lovebolts.co.uk/transcription.php?738~John+Henry).

Hope that helps!

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

it does help a lot! and now I am feeling woefully ignorant about American folk music, so I will have to fix that. thanks! :-)

[ornithoptercat.livejournal.com]

Here from metaquotes, and adding the comment here I did there, as I think you might appreciate it:

I would just like to state, for the record, that I did embroideries for a set of vestments a church commissioned in honor of his beatification.

One of them was the church's coat of arms or somesuch. The other was Newman's coat of arms as a cardinal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Newmancofa.png). This is a) extraordinarily difficult - all those tassels, and the lettering, oh God, that's hard to do clearly at <1/2" high - and b) that hat. I could not stop thinking "no one EVER expects the Spanish Inquisition!" while working it.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Oh, the temptation to add that in, huh? Tiny little letters worked into the tassels and cords, maybe?

*snrch*

[madam-silvertip.livejournal.com]

Please tell me this will be sung at Wiscon. Or even that a recording of it will be on auction.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

I believe you could persuade me to sing it there, under the right circumstances. It might be amusing indeed.