elisem | The State of the Lioness

I saw my GP yesterday for a physical and labs. They were holding my prescriptions hostage until I appeared in person, so I went in.(1)

There were some good things in the labs. My cholesterol measurements are glorious, which is really nice.(2) A lot of other things either are fine or mostly fine.

The things that are not fine will necessitate action. I'm not thrilled, but I will figure out how to deal with them.

Some of them I'll start by looking up the term. Psychosocial distress, for example. After reading at a number of links that came up, one of which said, "In the face of a complex, demanding, and often confusing set of self-care directives, patients may become frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and/or discouraged," I said, "Huh. I thought that was just life in the Lionessverse." Apparently there is an extra-strength version of psychosocial distress. Oh, goody. Eh, there will be learning. But it feels odd to actually pay attention to that. And yet I need to, because it's probably affecting some of the other things, and the other things will definitely affect it. (Currently I'm handling it by revisiting some high-energy 1980s style crankiness and high hilarity, which was easier when I was in my twenties, i will confess. But "too ornery and too glittery to die" does have a successful track record with me, so it's probably not the worst initial reaction to it all.)

Another thing would be the numbers involving liver function. We'll probably be revisiting the family history of hemochromatosis in the course of these and other numbers, I'm betting. I really hope these numbers get back in spec, because they are un-good. Disturbingly un-good. But I'll work not to get upset by them until I've understood more about them and had a conference with my doctor. (3)

The one that is clearest is, hey, whee! i'm a diabetic now. Hmpf. I don't remember ordering any, but here we are. I have some experienced friends who will be up for sharing knowledge with me, and I am grateful for that. (4) Still, it's distressing to have crossed that line quite definitively, after being in the borderlands for a while.

The thoughts running through my head at present include but are not limited to:

Well, shit.

I am gonna find some way to do tracking of various things that works for me.

Gamifying this, or at least parts of it, will probably help.

Telling people is a good idea, because apparently dealing well with the psychosocial distress includes telling people.

Good thing I like tea, and generally do not add sweetening. Hot tea, iced tea, all the tea.

Maybe taking up [unnamed hobby] would be an interesting way to change the feelings around some of the changes I'll have to make.

While I will most likely be in a bad mood for the next day or two, I can already feel the constructiveness and the stubbornness getting together inside me, which will definitely help.

All thoughts are welcome and I will be glad to hear from you, even if it's just "*am waving at you*".Later on I will put up a special post where all references, advice, suggestions, true tales of adventure, and so on, can be placed so I can find them again, so please to hold off on specific advice now, OK? Thanks.

Meanwhile, just, um, tell me you like me? And that you know I exist and are glad I exist? Because the brainweasels are having some fun with some of this already, and foo on that. (I like you, and I know you exist and am glad you exist!)

Love,
this LionessElise

P.S. The medical stuff mentioned above is happening against a background of multiple chronic illnesses/conditions/annoyances, so none of this is my first or second or even third rodeo, which is useful insofar as I'm not going through "oh no! something's wrong!" for the first time, and already have a few skills and practices in place.

P.P.S. There is a fourth thing, which is that my blood pressure is up in stroke danger level again and doesn't seem to want to come down.(5) We have taken medical steps to deal with that as of yesterday. I'll let you know how it goes. Disappearing suddenly is not on my list of things to do, so I shall do my best to stick around these here parts.

P.P.P.S. What the hell, I'm going to make this public, because why the hell not?

(1) Their CO2 numbers were actually pretty good, and everyone who dealt with me was masked (except for the receptionist), which was a lot better than I expected after last time.

(2) Back about forty some years when I was coming out of the worst of the anorexia, I had a cholesterol of over 400, and they're still wondering how I did that.

(3) The main concern for me here, oddly enough, is not my liver per se, but the possible discontinuance of certain medications which have liver damage risks but are helping me keep my entire life balanced and possible. What good is a happy liver if I cannot cope in multiple other ways? It's all this complicated interplay, as it was after the stroke: I don't get to take NSAIDs for my arthritis or fibromyalgia or other pain conditions, except that they do want me to take a baby aspirin every day because lowering the risk of the stroke is worth the risk of antagonizing the Crohn's disease.

(4) Also I miss Mike, whom I do as usual, but this is again and differently.

(5) Yes, I realised afterwards that this may have been burying the lede.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

pameladean

Obel! I like you! I adore you and you are to please to stick around.

I am very glad about the cholesterol numbers, because they can be made worse by diabetes and yet there they are. HA.

I did not order diabetes either. It had no return instructions.

I also miss Mike (quelle surprise, no?). The Kindle edition of The Final Reflection was $1.99 the other day so I snarfed it up, because that little mass-market paperback is a bit shabby. Then, naturally, I had to read it again. Then I missed Mike in particular ways. You can do that with each book and the ways are all particular. Ooooof. But you know all of this.

When you put up your post about coping etc., I'll say more. In the meantime, be ornery and glittery all the way. I cheer you on.

P.

From:

carbonel

I'm annoyed with myself because I let that go by because I thought I already had a copy. But I only have HMfJtP. Oh, well, it'll show up again at that price eventually, I hope. (I also have a perfectly cromulent paperback.)

From:

yhlee

:support support: thinking of you :support support:

From:

sovay

Back about forty some years when I was coming out of the worst of the anorexia, I had a cholesterol of over 400, and they're still wondering how I did that.

I lost twenty pounds last year due to the back-to-back enteric infections and spent eight months straight eating my way back up to a normal weight with the most calorific foods with which my friends and family could provide me and I just discovered my cholesterol is now better than it was before said back-to-back infections, so I no longer have any idea how this arena of the body works.

I am glad you are taking steps to stick around. *hugs* if you want them.

From:

spark

I only know you on the Internet but I have appreciated you and been very glad that you exist for nearly 30 years now (!). I very much hope that you will continue to exist, with comfort and joy and sparkles, for a good while to come. You are a Good Thing in the world.

From:

mrissa

I like you, buddy!

Also I'm not surprised you might have a tiny touch of psychosocial distress just for crunchy topping, because sheesh.

From:

oursin

*Waving*
Missing not seeing you these several years of not doing intercontinental travel.

From:

keshwyn

Hi, I like that you're here, please continue to stay and make pretty things! :-)

Also, I am absolutely with you on the tea front.

From:

ursa_cerulean

One of the greatest joys of my dreamwidth reading page is that you're on it and I can read about your day. I am very glad you're here

From:

redbird

I like you, and hope dealing with this is as easy as possible.

Tea is good.

From:

kiya

I am exceedingly joyous about your existence in multiple directions, and I am sorry that you got a bullshit medical sundae out of your mandatory endoctoring.

From:

jenett

I continue to wish for you to be around and being you in all the excellent ways you are for a long time to come please.

(And as I said previously, feel free to bug me for for any of my accumulated knowledge of the intersections of health conditions, as helpful.)

I am currently the creature of "I have two different pitchers of iced tea in my fridge at all times", so yes.

From:

sartorias

All my sympathies! I, too, have the super high blood pressure thing. Do not want another stroke. I also had the liver numbers issue, but in my sitch diet and turmeric sups seem to have shoved that back down to within acceptable range.

From:

ellen_fremedon

I like you and would like you to be around for a long time to come! And I am sorry that you are returning to the New Chronic Illness rodeo.

From:

vass

Bodies.

"In the face of a complex, demanding, and often confusing set of self-care directives, patients may become frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and/or discouraged,"

I can't think why.

"too ornery and too glittery to die" is an excellent motto.

I like you and am glad you exist.

From:

athenais

Ornery and glittery is a superb response to basically anything! Love you, lion sister. Keep dancing.

From:

sine_nomine

Everyone has said great stuff and I echo all of them. And no more stroke please.

As for psychosocial distress I am amused. Because isn't that just DUH that's normal in the face of all this? I would be way more concerned if you were all bright eyed bushy tailed cross to bear etc.

From:

ndrosen

Getting older brings problems to many of us; I remember my maternal grandfather telling me, via a letter, that he mostly did as the doctors told him, since he wanted to be in excellent health when he died. I wish you well, partly because I once got to meet Dr. Mike.

From:

madgastronomer

Hey! I think you're awesome, and I'm so glad you're in my life.

*makes a note of psychosocial distress, because yeah*

From:

edschweppe

I very much like you! You exist, I know you exist, and now you know I know that you exist! And those are all wonderful things that I am very glad for!

From:

ckd

Having also joined several of your clubs at various points (including the one that I definitely didn't order any of either, which became official this week) I hear you.

I continue to be glad you exist and hope to get to see you in the not too distant future.

From:

heavenscalyx

I like you very much and enjoy aeeing you posting! All this sounds like very much of a muchness and I send good thoughts your way.

From:

chanter1944

Offering ever so many hugs from over here. *hugs*

From:

siriosa

and like you very much, even if it's only parasocial.
you have no idea who i am, and that's totally fine.
i'm an admirer, is what i'm saying.

From:

davidgoldfarb

I remember you telling me that you liked me once, and I was a bit taken aback by it. I eventually pulled myself together enough to say that I liked you too. Still true! Hope that you find a way to manage all this assorted unpleasantness as best possible, as quickly as may be.

(Oh, and my mom really liked the earrings. When she came to visit for the eclipse she wore them.)

From:

rosefox

Thinking of you with love.

From:

kellan_the_tabby

wheeeeeeeeeeeee ugh, things that make eating even harder! why are bodies, I ask you. (hard to play with wire as a discorporated spirit, alas)

I like you & also the box actually arrived at the house today & that is. a big box. given the size of the things in it, which I'm guessing are generally smallish.

From:

thistleingrey

Thank you for posting unlocked. I've been reading via RSS since I first bought a pair of earrings, more than a decade ago!--not sure why I never subscribed, so now I have.

From:

azurelunatic

I like you! The you that exists, and continues to exist, and not just the ideal version of you (that doesn't exist anyway).

From:

xeger

May your brainweasels spend their time dashing madly in a maze, and turn all that *ARGH* into useful energy for you, rather than bitey distraction!

From:

sraun

I'm glad you're still about, and hope that you continue to be about for a very long time!

I hope my wife and I are on the list of possible resources to talk to about dealing with diabetes.

From:

queenbookwench

You are a delight and I'm glad you exist; "too ornery and glittery to die" is an _excellent life motto also!

I have such fond memories of writing threads for our characters when we could both manage to get the time, and I will forever be in awe of your casual erudition. I hope the intersecting health fuckery improves!

From:

carbonel

Diabetes sucks and my body is on that same track, though it's not quite there yet. The only comfort is that the drugs and tech to manage it keep improving.