elisem: (Default)
 tl:dr Silly body is silly.

I continue resting LIKE A POTATO. 

Whatever's going on in there, COVID (or something) has apparently been playing with the sliders and the lit-up buttons on my disabilities and chronic ailments. The good leg because the bad leg for several days. Really bad, pain-wise. Now that seems to be easing up a lot. The bad leg is doing something with sensations on the part of the leg where some nerve rerouting/regrowth happened after surgery 16 years ago; I did not need it to play with pins-and-needles, burning, freezing, and shocks on that leg below the replaced hip. Also, the sudden decrease in my hearing was distressing, though that seems to be mostly back where it was now.

Am using what skills I have to treat everything as temporary, and not decide This Is How It Will Be From Here On Out.  (Fibromyalgia has a ton of temporary things happening, at least for me, that seem like a Big Deal and then suddenly shift or go away.)

So yeah, silly body is silly.

Not as much pain in the temporarily bad leg today, so that is a huge win. I'll take it.

Does your body ever tell you something like "Augh, my toe is broken!" and then go "just foolin'! It's fine!" a while later?
elisem: (Default)
 The Sven-Saw is my friend. Even so, getting the muscle memory back to work is going to take a little while. And this particular stump is going to take a little while and then a longer while. After all, I haven't used it for about... whoah, thirty-some years? Eeep. But it's fall yard work season, and needs must.

As someone who has recently gone through the first intake session with a professional counselor for agoraphobia and for grief (which are the two things my GP requested I be seen for), I am now at least technically under care for these things, but anyone who's been through it knows that intake sessions are not quite getting-work-done sessions. They're more like is-this-therapeutic-pairing-going-to-work? sessions. (Signs point to yes. This is a relief.) I look forward to finding out what we can do about various things. In the run-up to this, I have been doing what I can to combat agoraphobia (or more like confuse and distract it) and hopefully lessen it with the strategic use of yard work. During the spring and summer, my goal was "get out and spend seven minutes at least in the yard improving something." It did help some. Also our yard looks better, which probably relieves some of the neighbors.

The Sven-Saw, a marvelous tool made here in Minnesota, enters the picture because there are some saplings that need to be cut off and the little stumps painted with stump-killer before winter. All of them are pretty much broomstick size or smaller, but there is one that's four to six inches wide depending on how you measure it. It's this stump that needs the Sven-Saw, because the stump killer wants a fresh cut to work on.

The biggish stump is inconveniently placed, and I have trouble getting at it. Part of that is pre-existing mobility and agility difficulties. The stump cannot be picked up and put on a convenient cutting frame; it has to be cut off horizontally a few inches above the ground. This is because of where it is: at the corner of the garage where the parking pad meets the alley. Our garage door is perpendicular to the alley. There is a small strip of land along the alley side of the garage which some long-ago person enhanced with a concrete-walled raised bed. It's not very tall, but it's tall enough to get in the way at the corner when I'm trying to get at this stump. It (the stump) is tucked in to a little notch of bare soil at the corner of the garage, where the alley-side raised bed strip ends before the length of the garage does. It (the raised bed strip with little concrete walls) stops early because some sensible person thought ahead, and designed it so that it is nearly impossible to run over the little concrete corner of the raised bed when trying to park. (I suppose someone might manage it, but they'd probably sideswipe the whole alley wall of the garage and then be too far in to successfully maike the turn into the parking pad.) Anyway, there's a little postage stamp of bare earth at the alley corner of the garage that runs a foot or so along the alley side of the garage before the concrete wall of the raised bed kicks in. And that's where the stump is.

Because of the concrete, I can really only get at the stump from one angle. While I can go at the cut from either side, it's all in the same cut, with a total variance possible of maybe fifteen degrees. Maaaaybe. This is due to the slight slope and where the pavement of the parking pad is. It's a tricky spot. Add in my mobility and agility difficulties, plus the dizziness and balance issues that have recently been added to my character sheet, and the necessity of bending over and trying to saw horizontally, and it turns into a two day job with a lot of breaks for resting while my gyroscopes reset.

All the other bits needing cutting and then painting with stump-killer will be much easier, barring one or two that are doing creative things around some pipes outside the house.Take the hard one first, get it out of the way. That's the plan. And it's a good plan. 

It's just going to take a little longer than I thought.

Have you done yard work lately? If so, how has it gone? Any stump issues or adventures?


elisem: (Default)
So I didn't get the last two days of the month posted.

(Cue a momentary recollection of Allie Brosh's DO ALL THE THINGS: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html)

The work of the month did succeed, though, because an intensely creative series of days at the workbench is why I didn't get the last two days of August posted. Well, that, plus the way my sleep schedule slid around until it was almost conventional. (No, not our kinds of conventions. You know what I mean.) Anyhow, I wound up making rather than posting, and that's how it went.

There are new pieces to put up in the Etsy shop, and to talk about here. Apparently my rainbow battle armor thing is still thinging. So that's what I did.

It's hard work not apologizing for it, but I've spent too many decades apologizing for what I call being an ADHD monster, and I'm done with that, because not only does it not help, it makes things worse. I'll apologize in particular circumstances if I make problems for someone else, but that means I will apologize for what I do, not for what I am.

Is there something you are done apologizing for?

Bonus questions: When you look away from whatever screen you're reading this on, what do you see that makes you glad? What do you see that helps you take a breath and relax? What do you see that helps you do what you do?

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Elise Matthesen

January 2026

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