Femme Thang

[elisem]

I was about to go to bed when I got an e-mail from a friend who desperately needed a copy of this poem. As long as I had to hunt it up for him, I figured I might as well put it here, too.

Femme Thang

It's a femme thang
to be demurely in-your-face
It's a femme thang
it's attitude
It's a femme thang
it's camp conceit
something about long cigarette holders
and spike heels;
we let the butches do
"strong, silent & competent"
that's their number in the butch/femme cabaret
It's a femme thang
to know the roadmap for romance
the seven warning signals
of incipient sexual ecstasy
every pulse point
that could possibly carry perfume
and where to buy silk ribbons
for half price
It's a femme thang
to be a steel lily with lacquered nails
a waif in a cloud of ringlets
carrying a copy of Baudelaire
or a sunset-crowned, big-shouldered woman
chanting the sutras of her linguistics class
as she draws the pan of challah from the oven
It's a femme thang
to know how to kiss
how to be kissable
like it says in the handbook
"butches, don't kiss her until you're ready.
She'll tell you when you're ready."
It's a femme thang
to regard Vogue magazine
as raw material
for the next piece of sartorial satire
It's a femme thang
to think of Victoria's Secret
and performance art
in the same breath
I remember the first time
somebody called me a femme as an insult
it was like the first time
somebody called me a queer
they meant to be derogatory
but I was so tickled
to find a word that referred to the way
that I do it
that I said, Yeah
so what's your point?
It's a femme thang
to know how to bat our eyelashes
it's a femme thang
to be a tough broad
It's a femme thang
to keep a shrine to Mae West
little rows of votive candles
burning among the quotations
"Come up and see me some night.
Come Wednesday night;
that's amateur night."
It's a femme thang
to know how to be a serious bitch
It's a femme thang
to know what every magic wand
and little box of jewel-colored powder
might be good for
It's a femme thang
to have preferences in lubricants
the way connoisseurs have preferences
in vintages of wine
It's a femme thang
to be comfortable acting butch
Real femmes aren't afraid to act butch
because we know it looks attractive on us
like all those women in Shakespeare
impersonating boys
It's a femme thang
some girls have it
some boys have it too
it's a gift
it's a talent
it's guerilla ontology
it's the way we strut our stuff
and the fascinating noises we make in bed
It's a femme thang
and sometimes it's just enough
to keep the music playing in the face of despair
Life seems to call
for a parade amid the rubble
and anywhere there is defiant celebration
you can bet that
up front
male or female
there's some bitch with a baton
inciting revolution
swinging her tassled boots
and saying, "Yeah
so what's your point?"
It's a femme thang
to up the ante
It's a femme thang
to lob in the incendiary glance
to say
"Can you handle it?
Or are you just gonna wish
you had the chance?"

Femme Thang copyright Elise Matthesen 1993
Yes, you may make a copy of the poem for personal use or to send to a dear friend. Do not copy for publication without written permission; to ask permission, please contact me at lionesselise@gmail.com, or leave a comment here.

Synchronicity: In the picture link I posted earlier this week, the one about "foggy conversations" at Neil's Guy Fawkes Day party (in the comments on the Vorkosigan "Accidental Admiral" filk the other day), the person who e-mailed seeking the poem is the most clearly visible person silhouetted in the photo. It's the hat that's the giveaway. I can't wait to hear why on earth he was in need of this poem. Perhaps he's teaching it to a platoon of parrots or something.

Comments

[kiya]

Thanks for posting this, incidentally, if only just so I could aim a femme friend at it. :)

[annwyd.livejournal.com]

It's wonderful. (Even if I'm not quite femme in the sense of understanding makeup, I like dresses and skirts and I like looking pretty, so hey, if the label fits, I'll use it whenever it's convenient. ;)

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Two snaps way up! and a delighted squee noise, albeit muffled so as ot to wake the dozing household. I bat my eyelashes at you in admiration.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

Ooh, thank you for posting this!

[misia.livejournal.com]

As you know, I adore this piece with great and boundless adoringness.

And there are only two things I can say:
1) For me, it's not Mae West, it's Sophie Tucker (literally: 8x11 glossy in a Svarovski crystal-studded frame on my desk and everything).
2) Femmes not only know what all the paint can do, we also know what each individual shade of lipstick is capable of.

[lkeele.livejournal.com]

What, what? Tell me, please?

Or better yet, show me?

Loved the poem. This is why I love femmes. 'Cause I think it's cool that when the Titanic was going down, femmes stopped and did their lipstick.

[pisces3857.livejournal.com]

thank ou thank you thank you!!!

you know how much i love this, right?

sorry to post twice

[pisces3857.livejournal.com]

may i copy to my journal, please?

Re: sorry to post twice

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Yes, dear; absolutely.
*smooch*

[lizw.livejournal.com]

I love it, and hadn't seen it before. Thank you!

[lcohen]

i love this piece! someone sent a copy to me (properly attributed, don't worry) long before i had ever heard of, let alone met you--i think it's the first time i ever did hear of you!

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Thank you for posting this. I still remember you quoting bits of this for me in Tucson.

[intelligentrix.livejournal.com]

A most excellent piece of poetry, thank you.

[scribblemoose]

Oooh, lovely. marith pointed me to it, and she was right, I love it :) Thanks for sharing.

[ailbhe]

I like this more now than I did then.

[neonnurse.livejournal.com]

*sighs*

You sure write great stuff!

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

Yes! Guerilla ontology! Thank you!

I think that phrase may finally get my housemates off my back about what they term 'your occasional lapses into girly stuff' and I term a sane and sensible love of fishnets and ruffles.

not related to the original journal entry

[pisces3857.livejournal.com]

kate thought it a good idea if i let you know that jules went into the hospital for strep throat. she came down with it wednesday. the doctor says she's out of the contangious period, and everyone else in the house tested negative for strep. kate thought you should know.

Re: not related to the original journal entry

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Dear oh dear! Is she still in the hospital? How is she doing? And how are you? E-mail me, yes, please?

Weight Loss tips

[(Anonymous)]

I've bookmarked this page so I can return to read it again. I feel you have made some interesting points that I agree with and your writing skills are great.

Re: Weight Loss tips

[elisem.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

:wipes eyes:

Seriously, you have no idea how hilarious you are. WEIGHT LOSS TIPS????


:goes off again in gales of laughter: