Elise Matthesen

 Apropos of I forget what exactly, there was a time when we were doing various bits of mummers' plays in the style of whoever the other party guests suggested. This is totally niche, and if you know neither mummers' plays (or I suppose the Revels, as it's on at least one of the recordings) or a little about William S. Burroughs, especially how he sounds doing spoken word stuff, it might be poor use of your time, but for the three people who will laugh, here is the one I got asked to do repeats of. 

It probably helped that I have an unasked-for gift of being able to imitate William S. Burroughs' voice and delivery. The first line alone was enough to make some knowledgeable friends fall about laughing.

OK, with no further ado, I give you the entrance speech to the mummers' play, in the manner of William S. Burroughs.


In comes I, William S. Jack
I carry my monkey on my back 
Money. I want, money I crave 
(muttering) if you don't give me money I'll sweep you to your grave 
Christmas comes but once a year 
(dubious pause)
when it do.
(another pause, shakes head sadly)
It brings good cheer
Overcooked turkey, store-bought pie,
you don't like 'em any better than I.
Ehh. Lady and gentleman, give us what you please.
(pause, then, with well-worn cynicism)
... or (shrug) not.
End anticlimactically, give a perfunctory look around for alms, benisons, or cold cash, then head to the bar.)


You probably had to be there. Anyhow, thanks for indulging me. I wanted to put this one down before i forgot it again.