Elise Matthesen

38 Now it came to pass as they went past the flea markets and the tag sales where the furniture that is old and made out of wood can be purchased for not too exorbitant sums, and past the stalls selling paint and wallpaper and all that is needful for the refurbishing of these items in cunning fashion (see article page 62), that he entered into a certain village which was the kind of place where antique linen tea towels are hung from the reproduction fixtures in the Italian-tiled kitchens, the sort of place where neighbors come calling on a lazy afternoon, and a certain woman named Martha received him into her home.

39 And she had a sister named Mary, and her sister did not subscribe to the magazines explaining how unique gift-wrappings could be made from vintage baking-powder biscuit tins, metal findings and craft glue, nor did she collect hand-carved wooden spoons, nor did she hand-mold butter or lay fieldstone walls with clever pockets for the planting of herbs, nay; but instead Mary did subscribe unto Smithsonian magazine, and Tikkun, and Maledicta, and unto the Kenyon Review, and she sat at Jesus' feet and heard his word, occasionally raising an obscure point regarding John of the Cross, Hildegard of Bingen, or Matthew Fox.

40 But Martha, in her featherstitched blouse handmade from vintage 1940s bridge party napkins and her cut-glass and Bakelite casual tiara (see page 256 for shopping information) was cumbered about much serving, for a dinner party for sixteen does not just materialize out of thin air, and she came unto him and said, "Lord, dost Thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Is it not bad enough that she does not care to wear her matching apron which I have stitched for her from antique flour sacks and hand-stenciled with images of artichokes and brook trout and trimmed with shirred organdy ribbons? And now she will not help me, nay, neither with the chopping of the imported white figs, nor with the dredging of the basil-walnut croutons in diverse herbs, no, nor with the stirring of the honey-brandy glaze nor with the cleaning of the ducks nor the basting and roasting thereof. And furthermore I have sixteen place-mats of vintage linoleum to cut, trim, and set before dinner. Bid her therefore that she help me."

41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, "Martha, Martha, thou readest too many magazines with the glossy pages. Thou art careful and troubled about many things, so much so that not even a collection of hand-mixed bath salts scented with herbs from the garden and tucked into a willow basket with a natural loofah and an assortment of sponges, the whole wrapped in paper stamped with the imprints of oak leaves and acorns (cut stamps from potatoes and stamp on with Swiss poster paints; details page 71) can soothe your spirit. In short, Martha, thou art stressed to the max.

42 "But there is one thing needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

42.5 And Martha did turn on her heel and stomp in a charming fashion all the way back to the kitchen, where she muttered as she rolled out dough (6 cups all-purpose flour, 1 tsp. baking soda, 2 sticks sweet butter, 1 cup Demerara sugar, spices to taste, 2 large eggs, 1 1/2 cups molasses, candied ginger) and arranged garlands of bay and rosemary around the water glasses, and she did ponder the words of the Lord in her heart while she made blue corn and cumin fritters and anisette soufflé. (Recipes on page 187.)

Here endeth today's text.

"The Parable of Jesus, Mary, and Martha Stewart Living" is copyright Elise Matthesen; that's me, and all rights are mine, mine, MINE. Mwa-ha-ha! (Oops. Sorry. Got a little carried away there.) It's OK with me if you make one copy to mail to a friend, as long as this notice is included, but please ask permission before reposting elsewhere or publishing it in a newsletter or a list. I usually say yes if people ask, and I really like knowing how far it propagates. If you do repost it or send it to anyone, please keep this notice with it, so people down the line can contact me for permissions at elise@lioness.net  lionesselise@gmail.com  - thanks! Link to it if you like; that's fine by me. Enjoy. And best wishes for a reduced-stress winter holiday season -- or summer holiday season, if you're one of my southern hemisphere friends/readers.